Excerpt from The Adventures of Edward Brett: Volume One, Chapter One: ‘Grin and Bear it’. Read the full spooktacular story here!
“He was sat there,” she said, pointing fearfully to the desk opposite her own. “That’s Matthew’s desk – the chap that the thing looked like.”
“And he just appeared out of nowhere?”
“Yeah, I looked up and there he was, grinning at me. It was horrible.”
“Grinning?”
“His face was set in this horrid toothy grin. It looked like him but he was all kind of faded, like he’d been through the wash too many times. If that makes sense?”
“Not remotely!” the man said dismissively, eyeing the full scope of the office warily. “And at the same time, entirely. Did he look, well…dead?”
Wanda shrugged exhaustedly. “I don’t know. I haven’t actually seen any dead people lately.”
The man walked over to the desk in question. “Lucky you.”
“I mean, he didn’t look well. If you saw him on the street you’d probably say he needed to get himself down the walk-in centre.”
The man pulled Matthew’s chair out and got down on his knees, examining underneath. “No burns on the carpet, no scorch marks. So that rules out, well, any kind of magic for a start. And Kentish Fire Monsters. No, wouldn’t be them anyway, what am I thinking, we’re in Surrey. I’m Edward, by the way, Edward Brett.” He added the introduction like an afterthought.
“Wanda Smith,” said Wanda, feeling strangely formal. She never introduced herself with her surname. And Kentish what monsters? “Is Matthew dead? Was it a ghost?” she asked hesitantly, feeling ridiculous for even saying the word.
His head popped up from underneath the desk. “Hahaha! No.”
Wanda’s cheeks prickled. She didn’t like being laughed at. “Well, I don’t know,” she muttered.
“Humans always think it’s ghosts. There’s a lot more out there than ghosts, Wanda, trust me. I wish it was ghosts. If it was ghosts we’d be finished and in the pub by now.” Edward hopped back onto his feet and walked over to her.
She looked at him, wondering why he’d used the word humans like he had. “Who are you?”
“I told you. Edward Brett.”
“And you do this sort of thing a lot? Barging into offices, investigating things that aren’t ghosts?”
“Hey, I didn’t barge anywhere! Your caretaker chappie let me in.”
“Who, Phil?” Wanda asked incredulously.
Edward nodded in a ‘sure, why not’ kind of way. “Yeah. Yeah, he looked like a Phil.”
“Good grief! They go on at us about wearing our ID passes all the time and security risks and whatnot, then the caretaker goes and lets a nutter into the building.”
“Oi!”
“Well, you’re acting like a nutter.”
“So what? Are you allergic to nuts?”
“No.”
“Right then. Jolly well stop complaining.”
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